Myles (Mike) Connor Eulogy

April 10, 2010

By his eldest son David

Thank you for coming today to celebrate Dad’s life. How does one generate a quick sketch of a man’s life in a few minutes and do it justice? I cannot do that for this great man I had the privilege of calling Dad. It is times like this when we step off the fast whirling merry-go-round of life to ponder the big picture of “What is the purpose of it all”?

When God created Adam and Eve, man was to live forever. However, because of their sin, death comes to all of us. According to II Peter 3:9 God, in His wonderful mercy is not willing that any should perish but that all should come to repentance. In the gospel of John today Jesus said “I am the way, the truth, and the life: no man cometh to the Father but by me”. Jesus paid it all for our sins on the cross at Calvary. One must trust in Jesus. He died for us, the least we can do is trust Him and live for Him like Dad did.

It’s interesting that the hyphen or dash between the dates on Dad’s tombstone represents 80 years in this life. The last chapter has been written in Dad’s journey of life here on earth. From the book of his life I’ve selected a few key chapters to capture the essence of what this man stood for… this is the “Irish Reader’s Digest” version since time will not allow me to share all that has been written. For those of you that don’t know, my Dad was a 100% Irish and proud of it.

Brief History
Myles (Mike) Connor was born Jan 20, 1930 in the same house he died in on March 29, 2010. This was just before the Great Depression. Dad was the fifth child of ten born to Joe and Margaret Connor. He was right in the middle, right were I believe he wanted to be. He was raised on the homestead farm where he learned responsibility at a young age, as all farm kids do. He grew-up with horses before tractors were used. He liked working with horses. He lived a simple, yet full life and learned the importance of teamwork. From his parents he developed a faith in a loving God. For a short season after Dad graduated from the New Lisbon High School in 1947, he attended the seminary in La Crosse, WI, thus confirming his devout faith in God. He told us kids that while he was there the Lord revealed to him that he must go find the lady of his dreams and raise four nuns and two priests. Dad did go find the lady; obviously us kids missed the nuns and priest part.

A Family Man
At a dance in Kendall, WI, Dad approached Joan Schumann and asked her “If she wanted to Jig”? That started it all. They were united in marriage on October 22, 1955 and for the next 54 years their hearts danced to the wonderful music of God’s plan. It is rare to find a couple like Mike and Joan. They were like salt and pepper, peanut butter and jelly, macaroni and cheese…can you tell that my wife runs a day care?... they complimented and completed each other. This dynamic duo provided a role model for all of us. In a day when divorce is common, they were a couple that defied the odds and truly “two became one” the day they were united. Dad always treated mom with respect and love. Dad was a romantic in his quiet way and every once in a while had a thrill surprising mom with gifts, a new dishwasher, a couch, and even with diamonds a time or two, with the help of his loving daughters. Dad told Mom if she ever left him… he was going with her. He knew he had a good thing and wasn’t going to loose it! Last week Mom informed me that Dad had saved the letters she wrote to him before they were married. He told her that if a situation surfaced where she questioned her love for him, he would get those letters for her to review. Dad was a wise man. I don’t believe he ever had to get the letters. They were “Best Friends” until the end!

Like all couples, Dad and Mom faced several trials in their marriage. The first was when their first child was born premature and died, we called him “Brother Charlie in Heaven”. Another trial came in the fall of 1976 when the barn burnt. We saw their faith tested and they proved their love and commitment as they triumphantly came through that experience closer and stronger than ever. Our family saw the community rally to help us in a time of need. For most, this trial would have destroyed them, not Mom and Dad, it strengthened them, made them draw on the strength and comfort of God and their love for one another. Another tragic trial was the death of our sister Kaye Hemmersbach who died in August of 2000. Parents are not supposed to bury their children and this was tough on them. A part of Dad died with Kaye that year.

Dad was a great father and head of the home. Jacob in the Bible had a favorite son – Joseph. Mom and Dad had six favorites; each one of us felt their love and support. They didn’t have much but what they did have they used to give us great memories growing up. One of the few things Dad ever wanted was a swimming pool. He used this to teach us a lesson. If a family works together they can make dreams come true. He told us we could have a pool if we were willing to pick pickles. We could make extra money to afford a pool. (It just occurred to me – I think we all got conned or swindled into it – good ole Dad and his Irish wit). We were ALL for it however… we had no idea the hours and hours… and hours we’d spend in the two acre pickle patch for three long summers to raise $1500.00 for the pool. Dad ended up pitching in the difference and I believe in 1968 we had a pool.

Dad had a great sense of humor and loved to laugh. He loved to tease kids, the “Connor Trap” (hand grip to hold a child) as a perfect example of that. If he had a favorite age of kids to tease, I believe it was about 4-6 year olds, when dad could be on his hands and knees he would be able to look them in the eye. With an Irish twinkle in his eye and a hearty roar, they would tear off with a squeal of terror mixed with delight only to return moments later for another round of fun with Dad or Grandpa.

I remember one Christmas we traveled to Grandma Schumann’s. An ice storm came through and on the return trip, about a mile from Grandma’s, we went into the ditch. Steve returned to Grandma’s with the rest of the family while Dad and I walked about 14 miles that night. We got home about 10:30 and did chores until 1:30 in the morning. He never complained about the walk or the work. He just did what needed to be done. Since Dad did not excel in kitchen duty our diet for a couple of days was cereal, bread-sugar and milk, and one of dad’s favorites - ice cream. (I also liked that one the most!) I can honestly say I was glad to see mom and the rest of the crew two days later.

Our family motto was “God first, others second, yourself last”. Dad and Mom lived it and modeled it for us. Another true saying we saw them exemplify in their lives was “A family that prays together stays together”. Dad never stood taller in my mind than when a saw him fall to his knees in prayer. Home for us was a haven, an oasis, and a place where we knew we were always loved unconditionally. Dad made a bet with us when we were in grade school. If we promised not to smoke, take drugs, of drink alcohol he’d give us $1,000.00 when we turned 21. We enthusiastically took dad on that bet and he gladly paid each of us on our 21st birthday. Can you imagine a home with six teenagers at one time? Dad was the captain of the ship and he quietly yet firmly guided our family though those interesting years. Steve and I were active in sports though high school. Mom and Dad missed very few events, even with the farm. I remember Dad commenting once that he would rather see us exert energy cleaning calf pens than pushing a sled around the football field. Now as a dad, I know exactly what he meant. Dad had an Irish wit and a time or two, I didn’t like it. After I graduated from high school Steve and I wanted motorcycles. Dad was not very keen on the idea so he went to the girls and said, “I’ll give you each $300.00 if you don’t buy a murder bike”. They had no intention of buying a bike. Steve and I could have used the money to offset the cost of our bikes. He was a character. It has been said, “The best thing a father can do for his children is to “Love their mother”. Dad did that well!

His Character
While Geralyn (my youngest sister) was working on the obituary with my nephew Dane Hemmersbach, they were discussing what were some of dad’s qualities; loving, kind, gentle, and patient. They commented that these are fruits of the Spirit. The Bible says you know what type a person is, by the fruit they produce. As I evaluate the fruit that dropped from Dad’s tree, he was a GIANT of a spiritual man in my book. The fruit of the Spirit is recorded in the Bible, Galations 5:22-23. Dad was loving, always looking for the good in people not the bad. When Grandma Schumann could no longer live alone, she moved in with Mom and Dad. Dad never complained about Grandma living with them. He was always good to Grandma and supported Mom while she lovingly cared for her mother. He had a great sense of humor and every year April Fool’s Day was a special fun day for him. Dad had a joy that radiated from deep within and it was often contagious. He had a peace that touched the soul. Dad’s trigger seldom got tripped and yet when it did, he quickly returned back to his quiet controlled self. Steve and I were in an accident and the car got totaled. I do not recall dad ever saying anything about the car. He was just grateful we didn’t get hurt in the accident. Dad was a gentle, a good man with awesome “Mountain Moving” faith. I remember when we were burning brush piles at the southern most piece of Dad’s property and the fire got away on us. It was climbing the hill and we were running back and forth to the ditch to get our bibs wet trying to put it out. Dad knew if it got to the top of the hill it would spread like wild fire. He prayed for intervention from above and almost immediately the wind died down and as quick as it started and it was out. That day I saw the truth of James 5:16 “The effectual fervent prayer of a righteous man availeth much”. God is great! He was a humble man with a meek spirit. He seldom asked for much and I don’t ever remember him doing anything for selfish reasons. He was always willing to sacrifice for the family. I must confess though, Mom had a tendency to spoil Dad. She was good to her man, loving and caring for him until the end. Dad appreciated all she did for him and thanked her often. Dad was honest as the day is long. I remember he once agreed to sell a registered Holstein for $1,500.00 and realized he had her mixed up with another one – thus she was actually worth about twice that price. Rather than explain his mistake to the farmer, he abided by his word and sold her for the price agreed upon. Dad lost money on that deal however I believe God blessed him much more in the long run because of his honesty. I also remember the story of Dad driving pass an implement dealer and recalling not having paid a bill for a grain elevator he had bought a couple years earlier. The next week he had a check in the mail. After the implement dealer received the check, they had to call Dad and ask what the check was for. He was the kind of customer every business owner dreamt of dealing with.

Dad’s Faith in Jesus Christ
It is rare to find a Christian whose talk and walk line up like Dad’s. He lived what he believed. Christ is our example to live by. I had the honor of having a dad who’s walk was so close to the Lord that if I followed his foot steps, I’d be walking in line with the Lord’s. He typically never worked on Sundays. The Lord rested the seventh day and if God needed a rest, Dad felt he did too. Once in a while we would help a relative or neighbor on a Sunday but rarely do any extra work on the farm. When I went off to college and came back for a weekend, I remember the story of Dad hiring someone to help pick the corn. Dad told the farmer he would have the wagons empty for them to load on Sunday, if they chose to work, but he would not unload them. The farmer agreed to that. The first Sunday the farmer worked and his tractor started on fire. The next Sunday a wagon got away from him and tipped over. The following Sunday the farmer decided not to work! Dad always gave God the first fruits of his labor. He was a praying man, a giving man and devout in his faith. For years Mom and Dad were faithful in spending an hour in prayer at St. Teresa’s in Union Center, WI. We had a special birthday party for Dad one year and the late Fr. Leisle made this statement to Dad, “If Mike Connor was on trial for being a Christian, he would certainly be convicted”. If only we all had that testimony!

A few of Dad’s common sayings
• “She’s a good egg.”
When it was time for us kids up in the morning for chores, he’d holler upstairs
• “You know people die in bed”.
• Every time you throw a little bit of dirt you lose a little bit of ground.
• A man is only as good as his word.

Interesting facts on Dad
• Dad could never talk on the phone without his glasses on.
• Dad never really liked his name Myles until he had a grandson named Myles.
• Favorite drink and only drink was MILK. In the last few years he preferred ½ white, ½ chocolate.
• His favorite cake for birthdays was poppy seed.

*The following were not read at dad’s funeral however since several had asked for a copy of this I added them…
• Remember the letters from Mom that Dad planned to get if she was questioning her love for him – Dad hid those letters out in the cow barn (I told you he had five younger siblings and four older ones), well Dad reluctantly informed mom the mice got into his treasured letters and destroyed them.
• Mom tells me Dad got the $1,000.00 idea from the Kennedy Family.
• You’re not going to believe this one… On the evening of April 10, 2010 while sitting at the table writing out thank you notes to family and friends after Dad’s funeral, my sisters informed me they never knew about the $300.00 Dad was going to give them for not getting murder bikes. That witty Irishman got me again, it didn’t cost him a dime!
• When the youngest Geralyn turned 13, on September 22, 1975 they had one 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, and 18. If brother Charlie had lived, that would have made seven teenagers with him at 19.
• The pallbearers and honorary pallbearers were grandsons. They all wore grandpa’s ties at the funeral, both sons Dave and Steve also wore ties that were his.

Good bye dad…
For the last couple years Dad’s health has slowly deteriorating, mostly just from old age. In that time I’ve seen Mom faithful to her vows, standing beside her man, lovingly caring for him – an awesome example to all of us. I also saw my brother step up and become a giant of a man as he helped Dad exercise. Last summer he took him on the four-wheeled bike for about an hour each day. Daily he encouraged both Mom and Dad through the final chapter of his life here on earth.

The night that Dad was called home there happened to be a full moon. That night as I traveled to the farm, the moon was hanging beautifully in the eastern sky just above the horizon. I had a peace in my heart knowing Dad’s journey on earth was over and his new life was just beginning. The full moon has always been special for Mom, now it’s even more meaningful to her.

Today we celebrate the life of Myles (Mike) Connor. A gentle giant has fallen (during Dad’s funeral, before I read this, I hen scratched is in the margin) – no, “moved on”. Dad’s youngest grandchild summed it up beautifully when she heard Dad had passed. Kaye Rysdahl said “God is happy today”! I believe as the angels carried him to heaven above and as he entered the pearly gates, our Lord and Savior greeted with the precious words, “Well done good and faithful servant”.

Good bye Dad, we look forward to seeing you again. Mom’s looking forward to dancing with you in Paradise!

Until then your loving son,
David M Connor